It’s a new year and I am positive many of us have already made resolutions; however, I on the other hand have not. I decided not to make resolutions this year because I feel like by making them I set myself up for disappointment. For clarity, I am not saying that making resolutions are bad because they are not, but personally, I would rather take action than waste my time making a list of things I want to resolve in the year. I know I need to do better, so I figure I should start before I give myself time to make excuses. I am known for making lists because most of the time it helps me stay on task. However, some things just do not belong on a list, but should be heartfelt and engraved in us. For example, prayer. I feel like I should not have to write more prayer time on the list. It’s probably not bad, but for me I want prayer to be automatic, sincere, and faith-filled.
To get to the meat of what I want to express, I have always struggled with my weight. I have always been overweight. I believe some of it is genetic, but of course not all of it. I cannot even blame it all on my parents; however, I have noticed a pattern even in my adult life. My mother likes to reward me with food and despite my father’s health consciousness he loves his sweets. Sadly, I have adopted some bad habits. Due to the fact I have always been big, I have become adjusted to my size and have accepted it. I am big, but not so big that I cannot still be stylish. I do struggle with my self image sometimes, but for the most part I feel comfy with how I look. I had been making changes, like finally drinking more water and exercising, but with college life being stressful I fell off. Recently, my family has been making strong efforts to get healthy and it has motivated me to join in with them. There are many reasons why I want to lose the weight, but I want to learn how to be happy with whatever size I am. As of right now, I am at three miles of walking a day. I am pushing for five miles a day. I also have started making changes in some of the foods I eat, but I know I can do so much better. Changing the way I eat and what I eat is the hardest part. Exercise is hard too, but I have fun exercising because it makes me feel good about myself. Honestly, I want to lose weight too because I think it will make my outward appearance more attractive. I know there are men who love women at all sizes, but I want to have that hot body that can keep Victoria’s Secret lol. However, I do not want to use my weight loss for the wrong purposes because my body belongs to God. Although I want to get my outward appearance in shape I know that beauty is vain and it fades, so my main goal is to work on the inside because that is the part of me that is eternal. Each day is different, but I am steadily making progress.