The article “No Boys Allowed” was exactly what I needed. If you haven’t read it yet it’s in the “Godly Relationship Advice for Men and Women” post. I am still in a stage of growth and learning much about God, life, and myself. It can be overwhelming at times when there are so many influences and ideas being thrown at you. In one ear you hear you are complete in Christ and in the other ear you hear you are incomplete without your other half(I thought I was a whole, hmmm). I am learning that you have to tune out the other noise and foolishness by choosing to tune into what God is saying. If he says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, then we are what he says we are. As Christian Joy states in the article, once we know who and whose we are, then we will stop answering to everyone else’s opinion about us. As I said in my “Game On” post, sometimes I do not feel so positive about myself and as a result I seek for affirmation from others; particularly, from men. For this feeling in my life I believe a lot of men and women enter relationships for the sake of having someone despite how poisonous the relationship may be. Being single is not always easy, especially when your friends are getting engaged, married, and having kids. At times you begin to question your values and if you are good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, or maybe just enough period. Are my standards too high? Should I lower my standards? Should I change my hair color? Should I snip, clip, or plump this? Maybe questions like this might flood your mind, but all of them are irrelevant. We are all pressured with ideas like these through society and the media. They see dollar signs and we see flaws.
Recently, I saw a girl’s story about her feeling something was wrong with her because no guys approached her or asked her out. Her loved ones were putting pressure on her by asking, “Where’s your boyfriend” and her friends had boyfriends, which really was not helping. She wonders if boys are intimidated by her intelligence, but does not think that is the case because smart girls have boyfriends too. I could totally relate to her. She made me want to cry because I have been where she is, and I just wanted to give her a big hug and tell her that she is good enough and when the perfect time arrives the right guy will come. Even though I hope to get married one day my singleness is a time of preparation not depression. Many times I have cried and prayed about being alone, but that does not bother me anymore because I have become accustomed to my singleness, and I do not see it as a curse anymore, but rather a blessing. I am in no shape or form to be married, or even date right now. I still have a lot of missing pieces and loose ends. I know no one is perfect coming into a relationship because all humans are imperfect. However, marriage is serious to me and more than sex. Now, I don’t know what God’s plan for me is concerning marriage, but I’d rather be solid in my relationship with him, than be in a natural relationship. Honestly, I believe that is why certain events have taken place in my life, so that I can abide in Christ. In addition, I really believe God protects us from some heartaches so when we do meet “the one” we are not making them pay the price by bringing a lot of dirty laundry in from past relationships. Then, I also believe God can send us the one to help clean up the dirty laundry. Although I think a lot of people are struggling with their identity, and are imitating what others project to be the truth. There are certain values that have been implanted in me, and despite what some may say works I choose to tune into the voice of God.