I Am Good Enough, and So Are You

The article “No Boys Allowed” was exactly what I needed. If you haven’t read it yet it’s in the “Godly Relationship Advice for Men and Women” post. I am still in a stage of growth and learning much about God, life, and myself. It can be overwhelming at times when there are so many influences and ideas being thrown at you. In one ear you hear you are complete in Christ and in the other ear you hear you are incomplete without your other half(I thought I was a whole, hmmm). I am learning that you have to tune out the other noise and foolishness by choosing to tune into what God is saying. If he says we are fearfully and wonderfully made, then we are what he says we are. As Christian Joy states in the article, once we know who and whose we are, then we will stop answering to everyone else’s opinion about us. As I said in my “Game On” post, sometimes I do not feel so positive about myself and as a result I seek for affirmation from others; particularly, from men. For this feeling in my life I believe a lot of men and women enter relationships for the sake of having someone despite how poisonous the relationship may be. Being single is not always easy, especially when your friends are getting engaged, married, and having kids. At times you begin to question your values and if you are good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, or maybe just enough period. Are my standards too high? Should I lower my standards? Should I change my hair color? Should I snip, clip, or plump this? Maybe questions like this might flood your mind, but all of them are irrelevant. We are all pressured with ideas like these through society and the media. They see dollar signs and we see flaws.

Recently, I saw a girl’s story about her feeling something was wrong with her because no guys approached her or asked her out. Her loved ones were putting pressure on her by asking, “Where’s your boyfriend” and her friends had boyfriends, which really was not helping. She wonders if boys are intimidated by her intelligence, but does not think that is the case because smart girls have boyfriends too. I could totally relate to her. She made me want to cry because I have been where she is, and I just wanted to give her a big hug and tell her that she is good enough and when the perfect time arrives the right guy will come. Even though I hope to get married one day my singleness is a time of preparation not depression. Many times I have cried and prayed about being alone, but that does not bother me anymore because I have become accustomed to my singleness, and I do not see it as a curse anymore, but rather a blessing. I am in no shape or form to be married, or even date right now. I still have a lot of missing pieces and loose ends. I know no one is perfect coming into a relationship because all humans are imperfect. However, marriage is serious to me and more than sex. Now, I don’t know what God’s plan for me is concerning marriage, but I’d rather be solid in my relationship with him, than be in a natural relationship. Honestly, I believe that is why certain events have taken place in my life, so that I can abide in Christ. In addition,  I really believe God protects us from some heartaches so when we do meet “the one” we are not making them pay the price by bringing a lot of dirty laundry in from past relationships. Then, I also believe God can send us the one to help clean up the dirty laundry. Although  I think a lot of people are struggling with their identity, and are imitating what others project to be the truth. There are certain values that have been implanted in me, and despite what some may say works I choose to tune into the voice of God.

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2 thoughts on “I Am Good Enough, and So Are You

  1. This is a Beautiful and very True post… A lot of marriages end in failure these days (especially in the church…) because most people have been involved in so many broken relationships prior to marriage that when they do get married they unwittingly bring the “spirit of divorce” into their marriage… and the pattern continues with their marriage eventually ending in divorce…

    The original purpose and intent of dating was not for comparison sake or to have a “test-run” prior to marriage… but it was done for the sole purpose of getting to know each other in a safe, secure (chaperoned environment) prior to marriage… The purpose of dating was for “Marriage” and Marriage only!!!…

    In my early twenties… in the military and totally out of the will of God… I found myself in a very short-lived but extremely abusive marriage… that I never dreamed I would be a part of simply because I had chose to choose my mate based on what I saw… liked… and felt… rather than what God wanted for me…. After going through and by the grace of God being delivered out of what I can only describe as Hell on Earth!!!… I repented to God for my disobedience and rebellion and made a decison to no longer fornicate or try to choose the husband that I felt was best for me and wait on God’s choice instead…

    Shortly after making that decison God brought a previous boyfriend back into my life… and guess what???… To my surprize… while God was working on me he was working on him as well… we got married 6 months later and 23 years and 2 miracle kids later… we are still married and more in love with each other than ever… 🙂 I share this with you and every young lady who is believing God for a mate to let you know that when you put God and his will first… you can’t go wrong and you won’t be sorry…. but Blessed beyond Measure!!!…

    I thank God for your refusal to bow to societal pressure and encourage you to refuse to settle for the rest… but continue to hold out for the “Best”… Because the Best is Yet to Come!!!…

    As you continue to seek, trust and obey God… he will give you the desires of your heart because your desire is for him…

    (Sharing!!! 🙂

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