Say What? God says, “He is your husband.”


Tis’ the season of giving thanks, which should be done year round, but I digress. Some are giving thanks for bae, while others are searching for one. If you’re not aware, this is also “cuffing” season; not literally, but imagine the chaos of couples actually being handcuffed in everyday life. That would be a mess. I am unaware of the origin of cuffing season, but I know it’s the time when people start hooking up and hunting for a cuddle buddy. Presumably, this occurs for the cold nights and holiday gatherings that consists of family members fishing in your dating life. Before you know it, family gatherings turn into personal interrogations and dating interventions.

Fortunately, there is no pressure from my family to get married now. Not sure if that is a blessing or a curse, but I have been able to come to peace with my singleness, although I insist it sucks sometimes. I am focusing on getting myself together. I want the best for my husband and our family, so that means preparation starts now. However, allow me to download some insight the Holy Spirit gave me in my preparation stage.

I will give you the short not-so-juicy version. I met this guy awhile back and he melted my heart and I’ve been crushing on him from a distance ever since. He seems to be the epitome of my desire in a husband, but that does not mean he is my husband. However, my mind went to places it should not have gone. Have you ever found yourself going too far in your mind with a crush? *AVOID DOING THIS AT ALL COSTS* It’s important to guard our hearts with all diligence.

Nonetheless, I begin to hear in my heart, “he is your husband.” Wait, I know God did not tell me this guy is my husband. Seriously? Like how many other guys have I thought the Lord was saying was my husband, and actually was not the case. I go on with this tangent on a daily basis, battling in my mind this lie that I know lust has concocted, yet masks itself as a truth. This is when discernment has to kick in.

In my struggle, I discover a misguided hope. I am a hopeful romantic, meaning I hope to deeply love and be loved my a man of God that I can laugh, build, share, and grow with. I love LOVE! I am intrigued and enamored with true love and its prevailing, unfailing, everlasting nature. Love is strong and beautiful. My heart is family and God knows my desire to have one in the Lord, but despite my sincere desire for a  godly marriage and family, God shows me that these desires are my hope. Are my desires bad? No, but they are void of Christ because any hope outside of God is no hope at all. Marriage has no room for selfish desires, but it serves a higher purpose and glory of God, one in which exceeds my physical attraction to a man of God and my desire to be a wife or mother. God is supposed to get the glory out of everything we say and do, so if God gets no glory or little glory out of my life as a single woman, then how can he trust me with a greater glory as being a wife and mother?

These questions awaken me to the brutal reality of my feeble thinking. Lust tempts me to release my true love and hope in God. I have essentially weighed my worth in the balance of man’s opinion and acceptance of me. This crush was not the first crush I hoped in to like me. I wanted him to like me because his approval sealed my worth. Yet, I did not need his approval. It was lust on a mission to fulfill her palette of interest. Now, I see it so clear, but it is so easy to get caught up in your emotions and feelings. This is why it is important to be led by the Spirit and have close fellowship with God because he will reveal his perfect will to you.

A few days ago, I was a crumbled cookie, but today is a new day of renewed strength and a soundness of mind. Will you get over a crush? Yes because all things are possible through Christ. Will you stop thinking this person is attractive? Maybe, but regardless of how saved you are, if you find someone attractive, then that is a natural experience. Your job is to give those feelings to God and trust him for the grace to obey his word.

I understand your heart may be anxious and you have met an amazing man of God (MOG) or not, but trust God to orchestrate your love life. The Holy Ghost spoke to me to take my hands off of affairs, like my love life and trust it with him. He let me know that he does not need my help in arranging who I will marry. We say God is in control, but we act like he’s not when we start chasing guys down or compromising our true identity in Christ. Some of us are more open than others, but even if you are secretly plotting to win the heart of a guy, you’re wasting your time. You cannot manipulate your way into the heart of someone and if you are, then you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Trust God today with everything, including your love life. He is the ultimate Chief Love Officer (sorry Steve Harvey you are not the CLO). He has created you for his glory and you will shine regardless of your relationship status.

Join me with my journal prayer:

Thank you for revealing to me the solid hope I have in you Father. Help me to hear clearly from you, instead of my fleshly desires. I hope in you to give me the desires of your heart for me in due time. I trust that as I delight in you that you will give me the desires of my heart. May my heart seek to eagerly please you and not man. I thank you that I am complete in you and your love fills every void. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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