Popping Pills

It begin with a twitch in my eye.

The twitch unraveled a nerve

Signaling shocks through my body.

I was struggling to gain control.

Uncontrollable tears.

Cold and lonely nights.

Ease my pain.

Please, just take it away!

It had me searching for the quickest remedy

The search for relief was on.

So, I found a dealer.

He supplied to my delight

There I was popping pills day and night

If I thought I’d lost control before

My mind was really gone

In and out

Boom…again I’d pass out

Was I in a dream or reality?

Does it really matter?

At least I don’t feel the pain, right?

Don’t shake or awake me.

Or you will unleash a beast

Chained to the bitterness of her past

I’m hoping this pain killer will last

I wonder why they call it pain killer?

Because eventually it wears off

And I’m back at square one

Popping pills.

Thankful for the relief, but I need a stronger dose

These pills ain’t doing it for me no mo’

Someone tell me when my search is done.

I keep popping pills for my pain.

I don’t just want it eased, but I want it dead.

An eternal numb.

I pop pills, but I’m still depressed.

I pop pills, but I’m still stressed.

I pop pills, but I’m still hungry.

I pop pills, yet I’m still lonely.

What’s the use in these things?

Sick of disappointment and frustration

Despite my desire to change

I’m battling this killer craving to go back to my old ways

At this point I’m willing to try the untested.

This new thing I’m trying now

Heard it’s not really new.

It’s an old practice of medicine

Known to change minds and save souls

Scientists say you can’t test it

Latest and ancient testimonies reveals that it works

But I hear there is a process.

Now, why do I want that?

Give me what’s quick and easy.

Then again, quick and easy is what got me here.

The first day I took a small dose.

Next day, I was hooked.

Nearly had me in a choke hold.

It’s like a cool ointment to an open wound.

The first reaction is a sting and burn,

Eventually the discomfort settles

And the healing begins.

Instead of popping pills

I now pop words of life

This word tells me about Jesus Christ

He came.

He sought.

He conquered ALL

Including death, hell, and the grave.

To help me endure the hurt

 If I live by the words

In the end

I get a great reward

No tears.

No pills.

No pain.

 

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2 thoughts on “Popping Pills

  1. Wow! This tale touched me on many different levels. I had so many habits. Anything that I could take, I took. Five years ago I was saved and that void has been filled. Although I still have my daily struggles, I feel so much better now! And get this… in the years past on New years eve I would usually be out getting wasted, but this year I rang in the new year in Christs House!!! It made me feel so much better looking back at how things used to be! And guess what, on January 1st I was offered a fantastic job. I was rewarded handsomely! I anxiously await your new posts and look forward to reading your past. xoxox —Jake

    • Jake,

      Thank you for sharing what God has done and is doing in your life. I am happy and excited for you! I wrote this piece inspired by my battle with pain and addictions as well as the battle of others. The pills symbolize any addiction. I believe we all struggle with addiction, but I’m grateful we have hope in Jesus.

      Char

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